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Darling on Deck: Kristin Ducote's rules for choosing the perfect yacht name

The name of your boat says a lot about you, writes Kristin Ducote. So make sure it says something cool and original – not clichéd and embarrassing...

  • Please don’t slap on the next Roman numeral to show how many yachts you’ve owned. We don’t care that this is number VIII, and we all know that number II was an eight metre open fisherman. Instead of another Roman numeral, flaunt your maritime expertise through the interesting name you devise.
  • Please stay away from nautical puns. If I see one more Reel Deal or Seas the Day or Ecstasea… Nautical puns are a no-no, especially for any boat over 12 metres.
  • Then there is the total suck up play of Lady Fill-in-the-Blank. Of course it’s flattering, but show some originality. At least use her pet name. I’d love to see a boat named Pookey or Snuffles rather than another Lady J or S or K. The only thing worse than Lady Fill-in-the-Blank is Lady Fill-in-the-First-Initial.
  • Another oft-used naming device is the mash-up. It may be meaningful to you, but it’s gibberish to the rest of us. And just ask Brangelina or Tomkat how it turned out for them. Although maybe I’m being too hard on this naming method considering, in all transparency, that we’ve had two boats in the family named in this fashion!
  • I’m all in for names that hint at the industry of their owner, namely Milk Money, Victory Lane and Limitless. Give your neighbours in the marina some fun figuring out who owns what and where the money came from.
  • Further, a yacht name should match the style of the yacht. While the name Galactica Super Nova may not be your cup of tea, this Heesen does in fact look super spacecraft-y. So, well done. Besides the fact, if you own a 70 metre yacht, who am I to tell you what to name it?
  • Lastly, be careful not to copy a name that’s already out there – especially if it’s bigger, faster, and prettier than yours! Rookie mistake. And make sure that whatever you choose leaves room for spin-off options for the tender and toys. For example, I applaud the name of the 48 metre TrinityCocktails, especially since its toys are Shaken, Stirred, Shots and Chaser.
  • In short, invest time in choosing the right name. Make it meaningful or at least pick something cool. Chopi Chopi and Cloudbreak are two of my all-time favourites, but don’t ask me what they mean! And, if all else fails, at least there’s the eternal crowd-pleaser – In Deep Ship.
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